How it all began....

Paul and I were married in July of 2005 and every day since then has been a complete joy! We moved to Central Florida and found an amazing church home at Family Bible Church ( There we met so many life-long friends. In August of 2007, we had our precious baby girl. Her name is McKenzie Renae. She was so beautiful when I saw her for the first time! After the delivery, we had a couple hours to talk and laugh with friends and family before something went terribly wrong. The next thing I knew I was being sent into emergency surgery. The doctor tried everything, but my uterus continued to bleed. So, after I was given 3 units of blood, her only option was to remove my uterus in order to save my life. Although I would have liked for things to turn out differently, I am so thankful that I am able to be with my family and friends. Of course, everyday wasn't all roses as I coped with the idea of not being able to have any more children. Paul and I had always thought we would have four children. After our McKenzie turned one I started to research other options for growing our family. It was solely a God-thing that caused all the pieces to fall into place.

One morning Kari called me up to ask if McKenzie and I wanted to go play at the park with her and Joselyn. It was there that Kari first expressed to me that she and Jon were interested in becoming a surrogate for Paul and me. I was blown away!! I let a few months go by and started to convince myself that it was a nice gesture, but she probably wasn't serious. Little did I know that she would be the "kick in the hind-quarters" that I needed to turn this dream of having more children into a reality! After those couple of emotionally low months, I was given the inspiration I needed to dive into the web of IVF. She assured me that this was something that God had placed into their hearts and they were the people for the job! Kari and Jon continue to amaze us with their eagerness to be a part of this adventure. As a matter of fact, one of the things Kari told me to get me out of my slump was, "We can do this together. This can be our little adventure!". So that is exactly what it has become! I can't wait to see what the future holds; and I hope it holds a new little baby...possibly two...Kari says three would be pushing it! hahaha

How I became "Kari the Carrier"

I remember exactly where I was standing when I was told that Andrea had a few complications post delivery and that her uterus had to be removed in order to save her life. The shock wave hit me like a ton of bricks. I was standing outside the church after a Wednesday night service when Jill broke the news to me. I immediately welled up and started crying, feeling broken-hearted for them. I couldn’t imagine the possibility of not having another child again. Over the next several months, every time I sat next to Andrea in church, a strong compassion would rise up inside of me. I felt like I wanted to help her in any way that I could, and that is when the surrogacy seed was planted in my heart. I never said a word about the idea to either her or my husband Jon, but the seed continued to grow week after week. I believe with all my heart that the supernatural compassion I felt in those moments was from God, preparing my heart for something special.

I decided to ask my husband about what he thought about me becoming a surrogate for Paul and Andrea; his response was an immediate “yes!!!” He was completely supportive and even encouraged me to speak to Andrea about it right away.

A few months later, I was at home with my daughter, Joselyn, and was thinking about going to the park. I called Andrea up and asked if she wanted to bring her daughter, McKenzie, to play with Jos. As the girls were playing, I asked Andrea how things were going and about their plans for future children. She began to tell me about a possible carrier she had in mind and a second person as another possibility sometime in the future, but nothing was definite. The next thing I know, I had said to Andrea, “Keep me in the back of your mind for a possible candidate to be your surrogate too.” I had not planned to turn that play date into a lifelong friendship, but that is what it has turned out to be. The moment I realized that my offer was a real possibility, my first feeling was kind of a “reality check.” However, soon after, and I believe it was by the grace and peace of God, I began to become more and more excited about the idea. I knew that I would never have offered if I wasn’t ready to follow through, so the decision was solidified in my heart. I left for the month of December to visit my family in Montana for Christmas, and during that time I was telling everyone my plans. I was already 6 months pregnant with my son, so I got some pretty funny looks as I talked about being pregnant again so soon. By the time I came back home, I had talked about being a surrogate carrier so much, it was already a done deal for Jon and me. The next time I saw Andrea, I asked when we were going to get this thing going; tears fell and the rest is history in the making.

I believe with my whole heart that this is a God-inspired bond between our families. I have an overwhelming sense of peace and knowing that this whole process will go quickly and smoothly, and I am looking forward to telling you all about our journey together. I am also more and more confident every day that God is a good God and he WILL provide for us. The hard parts are all done, now it is just a matter of walking through the steps and trusting Him…can’t wait to meet the new Miller(s)!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The real deal! 17

So much has happened since my last post! This whole process is a funny one. It seems like nothing was happening and we were waiting so long, then all of the sudden everything is happening so quickly. I started my mock cycle in November and had a series of blood work and ultrasound appointments. The trial run didn’t include any needles, thank the Lord, but it did involve patches, lots of patches. It was hysterical! I started with putting 1 at a time on my butt and ended up with 4 at a time! And mind you, these patches are about the size of a post-it note. I tried not to put them in the same spots all the time, so it was pretty funny shifting and maneuvering to find new places to stick those things. After I was done with the patches, I was ready for my uterine biopsy. They took a “corkscrew” like piece out of my lining to check the thickness and make sure my body was responding correctly, and of course, it was. I expected no less. We went from rush rush all the time, having 2 appointments per week in Orlando, to waiting for results again. We were delayed due to the holidays, but it all worked out anyway because no matter how far I plan in advance for Christmas, it always seems to sneak up on me. December flew by quickly, even with the delay for our start date.
Here we are in January, and we have finally started the “real deal.” I was pretty freaked out about 3 weeks of Lupron stomach injections, but let me tell you, I am so glad to report that they are not bad at all! Jon gives me the shot every morning. I am his very own private pin cushion; I gotta make sure I’m extra nice to himJ. The only hurdle left in my mind are the soon to come intra-muscular injections *queue music from Jaws* I’ll make sure to keep you updated when I get to that phase.
Overall, I am so excited. I feel like a little kid at Christmas! This month, my son Kaden turned 8 months old, got his first tooth, and is trying to crawl. Jos is almost 3 and is such a sweetheart. I look at them and feel so much love for her and that little guy that words could not begin to describe it. When I think about this whole process, the difficulties and sacrifices, I always think to the future when Paul and Andrea will be looking into their new baby’s eyes and falling in love. It is all worth it, a million times over.

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