Video of Andrea's egg retrieval - post 28

The following link is the video of Andrea's retrieval. This is the view that Paul had during the actual procedure. The monitor on the left is an ultrasound view of the needle actually extracting the eggs from Andrea's ovaries. The monitor on the right is the microscopic view that the embryologist had as he was sorting through the retrived specimen. Notice the digital counter in the center of the two monitors as it increases with each egg accounted for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNy5t1GrEgo

Transfer done and now we wait... - post 27

I’m sorry about the delay of information. To tell you the truth, I didn’t feel much like recapping Monday’s events right after it was finished. I had some strange emotions come over me and I had a hard time getting past them. I thought for sure after the retrieval was over that I would have a sense of relief come over me, but for some reason my mind went to a place of uneasiness. Instead of sharing in the overwhelming excitement that Kari, Jon and Paul had about the baby in her belly, I felt distant and even somewhat scared. I don’t really know why, because I know the plans that God has for us are good. My worrying isn’t going to change the outcome, but simply cause me unneeded stress! It is Wednesday (2/10/10) now and I am feeling much better today. I actually feel like my baby is growing and becoming acquainted with its new home inside of Kari. Two days down, only 12 to go! Now to catch you up on Monday:

Like I stated in my previous post, an hour before we showed up to the transfer, David called to tell me we were down to only one embryo and that he thought we might want to consider “assisted hatching.” Assisted Hatching is a process which uses a laser to make a small opening in the “shell” of the egg to help the embryo hatch out of its protective layering and implant into the uterus more easily. Again, this process is typically used in patients that are older than 35, but because of the way that my options for embryos dwindled each day, he wanted to “pull out all the stops” to give the one embryo the best chance at survival. He gave us this option and told us to talk about it before we got there with our decision. That part was tough to swallow, so again….tears, tears….dried up by a strong, faithful and encouraging husband (As a little side note: Most guys don’t know what to do/say when a woman is crying her eyes out, but my husband always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. I love him!)

So, we dropped our kids off and all four of us jumped in our car to head out to the clinic. The nurse called us back and told Kari to put her hospital gown on and sign some papers. There was so much joy between the four of us in that room that you would have never been able to tell the weight of the situation. This is exactly why I love all of them so much. After we signed our lives away (haha) the embryologist came in to talk with us about what was ahead. It was then that he took out a picture of our baby! It had divided into 7 cells by that morning. How many people can say they have a photo of their baby a little over 2 days after conception?! Absolute craziness! After we asked all of our questions (some comical, some not so much), I was handed my “marshmallow suit.” I didn’t realize that I was going to get to go back with her. Kari and I were escorted to the operation room where the nurse prepped the station for the doctor. She walked us through as the doctor did a test run putting the catheter in her uterus before the actual transfer. We were able to see a white line go across the screen and then back. The doctor has to play like the game “operation” when he puts the catheter in because if he touches any of the sides of her uterus it could cause her to start cramping, which is not a good environment for an embryo to enter in to. The boys were escorted to their waiting room with the monitors. One showed the microscopic view of the embryo seconds before it was transferred and the other monitor showed the ultrasound of the uterus as he placed the embryo in. If that doesn’t blow your mind, I don’t know what would! After the practice run, the doctor called for David, who was in the lab adjacent to the operating room placing the embryo with some fluid into the rubber tubing. He walked over to the doctor, repeated both my name and Paul’s (I’m sure to prevent any embryo mix-up…eeek) and we got to see the white line again, but this time a flash of white came out of the end of the tubing at the back of her uterus. That was it! It’s insane how much life can change in a matter of minutes!

After the procedure, she was wheeled out to the big room where the boys met up with us again. I was in a fog, the guys were excited about what they had seen on the monitors and Kari had the biggest grin you can imagine. 30 minutes later, she got to use the restroom and get dressed to go home. We scheduled our beta test (pregnancy test) appointment for February, 22 at 10am. So, that is the official day to find out if our future holds another tiny baby.

I am trying my best to fill up every day of my calendar for the next two weeks! So, anyone that is looking to hang out or wants to drop their kids off at my place feel free!

Transfer? Easy as Pie! - post 26

I was sitting in church when my phone rang. It was a call from the fertility clinic! I ran out into the hallway and answered the phone, it was the embryologist. He said he was calling to confirm the time that I was to be there on Monday. He told me to be there at noon and come with a partially full bladder. I couldn't’t believe it! I thought it was going to be Wednesday, how exciting! Monday morning, Jon stayed and did his work from home for the first part of the morning while I got myself and the kids ready to go. And of course, before I knew it, it was time to leave and I was running behind. I joked to Jon that I can’t even make it on time to my own pregnancy! We dropped of Kaden with Lisa Coffman (thank you soooo much!) and then to Paul’s mom’s house to drop Jos (Y'vonne is such a blessing!) Soon enough we were all on our way to Orlando. At 11:45 I had to take a Valium so that my muscles would be completely relaxed during the transfer. Let me tell you…I was sure relaxed! At the clinic, they took me through the same secret door that Andrea had gone before and I got dressed up in my awesome fashion-ista gown, hairnet, and booties. Pre-yow! David joined us and showed us a picture of the “little embryo that could.” It was so amazing to see that little grouping of cells and knowing that this little thing, less than the size of the period at the end of this sentence, would grow into a beautiful baby in only 9 months.

The boys went into the waiting room and were able to watch the whole procedure on the monitors while Andrea and I went into the “operation room.” I laid on the gurney (which was surprisingly very comfortable) and the nurse started the external sonogram so we could see what was happening on the inside during the transfer. They inserted a practice run and we got to see the “white line” enter my uterus and then back out. Finally David came out with the real deal and we were able to watch the sonogram and see the tube actually leaving a little white dot at the top of my uterus and back out. Amazing. There are no words to describe seeing this miracle happen and watching this little baby getting to know its new home. Another great part is that there was absolutely no pain and very little discomfort. Afterward, I had to lie down for 30 minutes, and then was able to get dressed and go home. Easy as pie! I am supposed to have bed rest for a few days and then light activity the following days. Andrea and Paul had both our kids stay the night with them for TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!!! I can’t tell you how wonderfully rested and relaxed I've been for the past two days, I love you guys!

So now the wait begins. Two full weeks until I get to have a blood test that will confirm the baby found a good place to burrow in and decided to stay awhile. I am still putting the estrogen patches on every other day and taking progesterone (OMG shot) in my butt every night. A small price to pay for such an amazing miracle from God.

I think this emotional roller coaster is going to make me puke! - post 25

Post retrieval-

Well, since Friday (2/5/10) was the retrieval, David, the embryologist, said he would stay in touch with us over the weekend with the progress of my eggs and our embryos. I was so excited and nervous that I could hardly fall asleep, and when I finally did, my mind would wake me up every so often thinking of every possible scenario. Finally (after what seemed like forever), I got a call from David the next morning at 9am-just like he promised!

We were under the impression that we were going to have 12 eggs to work with, but apparently when he measured them there were only 8 that were “genetically mature” (meaning they were large enough to make an embryo). Those 8 were then combined with Paul’s sperm using a process called ICSI (ICSI is a procedure that uses a needle the size of one sperm to inject one sperm into one egg. Bare with me for the next bit of details if you are not planning on using IVF in the future…..ICSI is usually a process reserved especially for men with fertility problems-which Paul did not have. However, since we thought we could save some money by skipping out on an extra FDA screening on Paul we decided to freeze Paul’s specimen. We were not informed that simply freezing a specimen would pretty much guarantee the use of the procedure. So, instead of paying another $200 or so for a second blood test, we paid $350 to freeze his semen, $200 for blood work, and $1650 for ICSI. I guess this is where the phrase “hind site is 20/20” can be inserted.) As I talked with David I got more and more nervous because the 8 eggs that I thought we had was now decreased to only 3 fertilized eggs and 2 “possibly fertilized” eggs. He said that he would know by Sunday (2/7/10) whether or not the other two were going to show any more of the signs of true fertilization. This conversation was so crazy for me. In one way I was excited because we had three fertilized eggs to work with, but on the other hand I couldn’t help but think why did the other ones not work? 12 to 3 is a big difference….

When David called on Sunday I learned that the other two did not make it. They were no longer showing signs of progression. This hit me like a ton of bricks, but I was encouraged by everyone around me that at least we had three more to work with! On this same Sunday morning call, he also informed me that instead of a Wednesday transfer, we were going to have the transfer on MONDAY (2/8/10)!!! WHAT?! Monday? Ok, so that was pretty exciting, but once again I got knocked backwards…the three fertilized eggs that I thought were certain were not so certain any more. Only one of the three was showing signs of division. Revert back to your high school biology class for a minute. The fertilized egg is only that. It must start cleaving or dividing to show that it is a thriving organism. 1 of the 3 was already a 2 celled organism on Sunday, so if the other 2 were going to divide they would have to do it before Monday morning. He gave me a glimmer of hope that they might still come around, but come Monday morning at around 11am (one hour before we were to arrive at the clinic for the transfer) he called to tell me that the other two did not make it. I lost it. I cried and cried…Now, not only do we not have any embryos to freeze for the future or for another round of IVF if this round doesn’t work, but now we only have one chance at a pregnancy. We were planning on transferring 2 embryos into Kari’s uterus because we weighed out all the pros and cons of 1 vs.2 embryos implanted and decided that 2 embryos matched all of our desires/concerns better. If you were able to understand and keep up with everything in this post, now do you see why this process could make someone crazy??

Recap:
2/5/10- Andrea’s Retrieval: 12 eggs retrieved
2/6/10- Only 8 genetically mature, only 3 fertilized, 2 "possibly fertilized"
2/7/10- "Possibly fertilized" did not make it, only 1 fertilized egg has divided, waiting on other 2
2/8/10- Kari’s Transfer: Only left with one 7-celled embryo to transfer

This embryo was affectionately referred to as “The Little Embryo that could!”

Retrieval finished! - post 24

Our Friday (2/5/10) morning started at 5:15am. We got showers and got out the door since we have about an hour commute to the clinic. I thought we were going to be late, but we got there a few minutes early. Whew! We were called back by a nurse named Angela who led us to a whole different side of the fertility clinic that we had never seen. There was such a joyful atmosphere the moment we opened the door to the room. One of the other nurses even greeted me with an excitable, “Hey Andrea!” That may not seem like much for some people, but this means the world to me. I got into my hospital gown and signed a few release forms while they checked my vitals. Shortly after the prep work I met the anesthesiologist who was so nice. I got to learn a lot about the team of people that were going to see me through the operation. It was obvious that my nurse, Angela, was pregnant and turns out she is due in April. The cool thing about that fact is that she is actually a gestational carrier (like Kari) for another couple that has the same situation as Paul and I (they had an emergency partial hysterectomy directly after the birth of their son, who happens to be the same age as McKenzie)! Angela was so excited to meet us because she knew that their situation was pretty uncommon and to meet another couple in her clinic involved in the same thing was very exciting. She gave us her email address and phone number and told me to tell Kari if she ever had any questions or just wanted to talk she would be there for her. How awesome is that?

After I got my IV in and was ready to go, Dr. Trolice poked his head around the corner and said, “Are we ready? Let’s go!” I kissed my husband and was wheeled off to the operation room. I was fine all morning, but just like my last retrieval, as soon as I got on the operating table in that freezing cold room that reeked of alcohol, my heart began to pound. It wasn’t long after that happened that I saw the anesthesiologist injecting my IV with a white liquid that made me drift away to la-la land. Next thing I knew I was waking up to the anesthesiologist handing me his fancy phone to show me a picture of his 5 year old daughter that they conceived through IVF too. I was glad to “see” it (my eyes were so blurry I couldn’t even tell you what she looked like), but I remember dropping his phone twice! Oops! Guess I had an excuse? I ate a few crackers, drank some juice and laughed so hard at the embryologist, David. He is such a funny guy! You can tell he loves what he does. He has been doing it for 24 years! They sent me home and just told me to take is easy for a little while. I had some slight cramping, but nothing worse than a menstrual cycle. We should expect a call sometime Saturday morning with news on how the eggs/embryos are doing.

While I was in surgery Paul was able to watch everything on two monitors in a waiting room. One monitor showed an ultrasound view of my ovaries with the needle and probe, while the other monitor showed a microscopic view of the eggs as they were retrieved. As each was taken out he was able to watch the digital counter increase. They were able to retrieve 12 eggs. It’s not as many as we were hoping for, but you only need on good one. Check out the pictures and video (if I can get it uploaded...)!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya Tomorrow! - post 23

Good news! The retrieval will be FRIDAY! It feels good to type that and know it is truly going to happen. Everything went so well today (2/3/10) at my appointment. My ultrasound proved to the doctor that he made a good decision to wait the extra day. The grouping of the small follicles grew like he wanted, so he is fully expecting at least 16 good sized eggs to be retrieved. Quantity is good, however quality is better. It only takes one good egg to fertilize and make a good embryo to implant.

Tonight I will take my trigger shot of HCG at precisely 8:30pm. My blood work came back showing my estrogen level at 3100. The doctor was a little shocked because beforehand my estrogen level only rose about 600 points per day and today it went from 1900 to 3100. I was supposed to be measuring around 3000 by now originally, but they didn’t think that I was going to get there. They were planning to give me a higher dose of the trigger shot, but now they won’t have to! Cool! Although today is my last day for injections, I guess they wanted to end them out with a bang. I thought that I wasn’t going to have any intramuscular shots, but I was wrong. Tonight I will get to have a tiny taste of what Kari will have to go through for about 3 weeks (except her shots will be in an oil suspension – much worse than what I will have to endure). Paul will definitely have to give me this shot because it will be given in the back of my hip. Cindy drew a smiley face with a marker on one of my cheeks so that Paul would have the perfect target to throw the “dart.” 36 hours after I get my shot I will be in the clinic about to have my eggs retrieved. It’s crazy how this stuff works.

Since we have been postponed a few days for the retrieval, we are expected to have a transfer on Wednesday, February 10th.
__________________________________________________________

So, I am writing this part of the post on Thursday night. I am pleased to tell you that the IM shot was actually not as bad as I was expecting. I did ice the area for about 2 minutes before Paul gave me the injection. I didn’t even feel the needle go in. I even had to ask if he had done it yet. It was about that same time that I was able to feel the medication stinging a little bit. It didn’t last that long because I only had ½ cc, but I am sure when Kari does her shot tonight with 1 ½ cc of the oil suspension she might have a little more pain than me. It did, however, cause a slight stinging sensation to run down my leg and I could feel a sort of “heaviness” for a few minutes where the needle was inserted. Other than that, it was all good.

Kari and I were talking on the phone today and (after we got past the talk about the shot she is getting tonight) we got into our high-pitch, girlie, giddy voices. We simply can’t believe this time is actually here! All the waiting (which the hardest period will come while we wait the two weeks for the pregnancy test) is almost over. Tomorrow morning is it! We will arrive at the clinic at 7:30am for an 8:00am procedure. Paul will not be able to go to the operating room with me, but he will be in another room where he can watch a digital counter display the number of each egg as it is retrieved. The procedure itself only lasts about 20-30 minutes, but I think it takes about an hour to wake up from the sedation. We were told that the embryologist, David, will be in contact with us everyday up until the transfer to let us know how the eggs and embryos are doing. I like the fact that I will be getting a call everyday. It kind of puts my mind at ease to know I will be informed every step of the way as our little babies grow. If you get to read this before Friday morning, keep us in your prayers for an absolutely perfect retrieval and the BEST quality eggs anyone has ever seen! Haha! We are so blessed by our little girl and we know that we are about to be totally blown away by what is in store for The Miller Family! BTW-pray for Kari and her shots too.

Almost there! - post 22

My last appointment was on January 28th, and our nurse Cindy said that would be the last time that I would see her before "T-day" (transfer day). She gave me a shiny new shots/meds chart and told me she would call me to put dates on it once we got the go ahead with Andrea's little follicles. So Andrea's little pip-squeaks liked their current home a little longer than we expected, so we were delayed by two days. It is kinda like the anticipation of getting to the top of the hill, but when you get there, you realize there's a whole new hill! Ugg! We are now very patiently waiting ;) for Friday to come.
Cindy called me on Wednesday and told me to start my new regiment of meds and shots on Thursday. So now for me, the feeling of Christmas has now turned into the feeling of my first day at a new school--exciting, yet I'm a smidge nervous! After Cindy called me, I went and got all my Rx stash out of my closet, including my "new" needles. YIKES! Jon and I watched a video on how to stab me in my behind, and I figured since the lady in the video didn't even flinch, it will be a piece of cake! Jon's actual comment was, "that lady didn't even flinch! I bet it is a fake person." But then she moved. Nope she was real.
I am no longer taking the Lupron shots in the stomach anymore, which is kinda nice because I think I was having a slight allergic reaction to the needles. I've got big red bumps all over my tummy. I'm wondering if my hind-end will look like a war zone after I start with the big dog needles! I'll keep you posted on that too...my first shot is tonight *que scary music*
Overall, this process has been a wonderful and crazy journey with Andrea, our families and our awesome nurse Cindy, whom I'll miss dearly after all this is said and done. I am hoping that my new shots are not as terrible as my over-exaggerating mind has made them out to be, and I can't wait until next Wednesday "T-day" da da dum.....God is so good!
_____________________________________________________________
UPDATE Post big butt shot...
I sat on an ice pack for 10 minutes and warmed the needle in my hand. I leaned on the couch and jon played darts with my behind and guess what...I DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH! Yeah, that's awesome. Really, the shot was not as bad as I had made it out to be. The only thing is that today I'm a little sore, but other than that...it's all good. I'll be able to do this for three more weeks no problem, and what's more amazing is that by the end of this three weeks...we'll know if I'm prego! Yay!

Another Appointment? - post 21

I really don’t even know where to begin. My mind is racing with worries, excitement, money concerns, medications, appointments, family, friends and everyday life that exists outside of the IVF realm. I seem to have days like this every so often that end up making me break down and cry. I have to keep reminding myself that I am ramped up on hormones and that the overwhelming feeling to let the tears come pouring out is mainly contributed to them. However, I believe this process is so full of ups and downs that even without the hormones it could break a person with stone cold emotions.

My last post left off telling you about our appointment on Thursday, January 28th. Like I said, everything was right on track for a retrieval towards the beginning of the first week in February…well, did you notice that it is now Tuesday (February 2) and I am not typing in all CAPS with excitement? Yep, you guessed it! We have been delayed, once again.

I went to the office on Saturday and after the ovary check they told me that I must just be a slow starter (as far as my eggs are concerned-they are taking a little longer to get jump started) Cindy says this could be due to the fact that I was on full strength birth control for nearly two months and my ovaries just needed a little more time to “wake up.” Dr. Trolice was not concerned in the least, but told me he would like to monitor me again on Monday (2/1/10-Happy Birthday to my sister, Caty!) for a possible Wednesday retrieval. Well, Monday came and it was almost the same story. My follicles are growing and doing fine, but they just aren’t growing at the rate he thought they would. So, now he wanted to bring me in again on Tuesday morning leaning more towards a Thursday retrieval. Not necessarily what I wanted to hear, but ok. At this point, I am fully expecting Tuesday to be the last day of monitoring so that we can get this retrieval over! That was my up….and then I came down…Today (Tuesday, February 2) was a little hard for me to get through.

I could tell that there was something on the doctor’s mind when he was measuring the follicles. He didn’t say anything bad, but it was the fact that he didn’t say anything great either. He measured two follicles that were 20mm and one that was 19mm, which is exactly what he was wanting. However, there were only about 5 or 6 more that were measuring above the 15mm mark. Apparently, the eggs will not fertilize if they are not at least 15mm in size. The problem with my scenario is the fact that there is such a split between my egg sizes. I had one grouping of 6-8 follicles (15mm+) that was in a good size range and I had another grouping of 8-9 follicles (12-14mm) that could be of size if they were given the chance to grow for another day.

The decision the doctor had to weigh: 1) does he give me the trigger shot tonight for a Thursday retrieval so that he doesn’t run the risk of losing the 3 largest lead eggs or 2) does he allow me to stay on stimulation medication for the 12th day in a row in order to give the group of smaller eggs a chance to get to 15mm so we have more eggs to retrieve on Friday.

I think it would have been a tougher decision for him to make if my blood work did not come back with great progesterone and estrogen levels. From what I gathered, my hormone levels were high enough that he wasn’t worried that I would lose the lead follicles if we postponed the retrieval one more day. So, that means another appointment tomorrow (Wednesday, February 3) with a hopeful retrieval on Friday! If the follicles continue to grow like he is expecting he should be able to retrieve between 15-20 eggs! This time has been so exciting, but I think I am totally ready to move past this phase of it. I'll let you know what tomorrow holds.

Kari-The Perfect Carrier - post 20

Ok. So, today (Thursday, January 28) was our appointment and we are doing GREAT! Kari and I went to our separate rooms for our ultrasounds. Shortly after her exam, Cindy and Dr. Trolice came into my room raving about how perfect she looked! Again, they said her uterine lining was “absolutely perfect.” Of course, that was very exciting to me. After my ultrasound was over the doctor informed me that I already have a few measurable follicles, which is a good thing. Kari and I are to continue with our same protocol and I have another appointment on Saturday (January 30th).

Cindy says that follicles tend to grow about 1-2mm every day, so if everything continues like it has, we are looking at a retrieval on Wednesday, February 3! There is a possibility that my follicles could grow a little bit faster, so it could even be on Tuesday. Y’all I can’t even believe that this time is here. I think today is the first day that it finally sank in. I got chills while we were making the last minute changes and adjustments to our calendars in the office. I told Kari that I used to have this GIANT to-do list and now there are only a few things left to complete. To me-“the list lady”- this feels like a huge accomplishment.

What’s left? I had to place one last order for some medication that we are running low on. Kari needed more patches (right now she is putting 4 estrogen patches on every other day…I think she feels like one big sticky pad) and I needed 6 more vials of Leuveris. We got Kari’s life insurance coverage squared away, and all of our wills are in line as well. These are typical measures taken in a situation like ours. Aside from those things, all we have to do is make some good eggs, make some good embryos, and transfer them to that “perfect” uterus (haha)! Do y’all realize that you are reading a miracle in the making? Whew! Right now, all I can say is Jesus is THE MAN!!

Another appointment down - post 19

Today my appointment went by really quick. I went back, they took a blood sample, and I was out of there. After the results were in a few hours later, the nurse called me to let me know what changes needed to be made. Apparently, my estrogen levels were reading low today. They would have liked to have seen my estrogen level around 300, but I measured at 106. I don’t have a clue why this is, but Cindy didn’t seem too worried about it. Remember that medication that I thought I bought for nothing? Well, turns out I get to use the Leuveris after all. Leuveris is a luteinizing hormone (LH) normally used in combination with Gonal-F to stimulate the follicles in the ovaries.

As soon as I got off of the phone with Cindy I was supposed to give myself another shot (that makes three per day now)! I was confident (at first)….I mixed the medication and went to give myself the injection, but I must not have gone in fast enough because I simply pricked myself instead of going all the way through the skin. As if that wasn’t bad enough I decided to mimic that same action for a second time. Now I have two tiny pricks on my belly that are bleeding and I am still holding this large needle. I was giving up and calling my mother-in-law, but at the last second I decided that I should switch the needles out (I had to mix the medication in three different vials maybe the needle had dulled). It worked. Y’all, the shots are not that bad, so I hope I am not giving anyone the wrong idea about them. I still can’t figure out why I get all worked up. You would think by now it would be old hat.

So, the only changes I have to make to my calendar are to decrease my lupron from 5 units per morning to 2.5 and add in the leuveris injection. I continue with the Gonal-F at night and then Kari and I are due back for another check up on Thursday the 28th. They should be able to give us our retrieval date that day too!

Shots...Shots...Shots....- post 18

On the 12th of January I started taking my first lupron shots. Either these needles are much smaller than the ones I used in the past or I am becoming more comfortable with the thought of having daily shots. My mother-in-law gave me my first shot and I decided to be brave the next day. It's probably because I had no choice, Paul was at work and I didn't want my mother-in-law to have to drive across town early in the morning just because I am a little wimpy. I gave MYSELF the second shot! I did great...if I do say so myself! I have given all of my lupron shots to myself for the past two weeks. There were a few days that I "freaked out" and it took me almost 10 minutes to talk myself into going through with the shot. It sure is annoying to count to three 20 times in a row and not go through with it! I have no idea why I was like that, it doesn’t even hurt (unless it is cold…make sure to let the medication get to room temperature or it will sting). At one point, McKenzie was even helping me count to three! Y’all would have gotten a kick out of that sight.

"1...2...3...ah...ah...ahhh"

As of January 16th, I no longer have to take my birth control pills! To me, even though it is just a tiny pill this is a big relief! Not only does it mean I get to move on to the next step of the process, but now, hopefully, my hormones can level out a little bit. I guess you could say I tend to be a bit moody when I am on them, but I think I am back to my old self again. YAY! My husband is so patient and kind and has been so supportive through everything (even when I turn into the one-eyed, green monster). I love him so much!

Kari had an appointment on the 15th to check her estrogen levels and her ovaries. Everything was great, so she started on her patches like she did in the mock cycle. On the 22nd, I had an appointment to check on my ovaries and to check my thyroid, estrogen and LH levels. My thyroid level was great and my LH level was high enough that I don’t have to take the Leuverise. I am glad that my body is cooperating, but it is kind of a bummer that I already paid $100 for that medication and now I don’t need it. You can’t return it or get your money back. All you can do is keep it for your own pleasure or donate it to your facility. Guess I will be doing the latter. Glad to help out the next couple :)

I added a second shot to my calendar on Saturday the 23rd. In the morning I take the lupron and at night I take a shot of Gonal-F. This medication is to help the ovaries make more eggs. I have another appointment on Tuesday (January 26). Throughout this whole process it is very important to monitor the ovaries and hormone levels regularly (thus the appointments every few days). In a sense, the doctors want to have complete control over our body and the timing of its natural cycle. They want to make sure that we don’t prematurely ovulate and also make sure that we are responding correctly to the dosage of the medications. So, I will have more information Tuesday and we are confident that everything will continue on the same path of “perfectness” that we have had from the start. We are still on schedule with a February 1st week retrieval. It’s almost here! Can you believe it?? We have two couples that are friends of ours that are due to have their babies around the week of February 21st. So, we are hoping that around the same time all of us will have so much to celebrate; two new babies born into this world and one (possibly two) just beginning their lives! God is so good!

The Perfect Path:

The real deal!...post 17

So much has happened since my last post! This whole process is a funny one. It seems like nothing was happening and we were waiting so long, then all of the sudden everything is happening so quickly. I started my mock cycle in November and had a series of blood work and ultrasound appointments. The trial run didn’t include any needles, thank the Lord, but it did involve patches, lots of patches. It was hysterical! I started with putting 1 at a time on my butt and ended up with 4 at a time! And mind you, these patches are about the size of a post-it note. I tried not to put them in the same spots all the time, so it was pretty funny shifting and maneuvering to find new places to stick those things. After I was done with the patches, I was ready for my uterine biopsy. They took a “corkscrew” like piece out of my lining to check the thickness and make sure my body was responding correctly, and of course, it was. I expected no less. We went from rush rush all the time, having 2 appointments per week in Orlando, to waiting for results again. We were delayed due to the holidays, but it all worked out anyway because no matter how far I plan in advance for Christmas, it always seems to sneak up on me. December flew by quickly, even with the delay for our start date.
Here we are in January, and we have finally started the “real deal.” I was pretty freaked out about 3 weeks of Lupron stomach injections, but let me tell you, I am so glad to report that they are not bad at all! Jon gives me the shot every morning. I am his very own private pin cushion; I gotta make sure I’m extra nice to himJ. The only hurdle left in my mind are the soon to come intra-muscular injections *queue music from Jaws* I’ll make sure to keep you updated when I get to that phase.
Overall, I am so excited. I feel like a little kid at Christmas! This month, my son Kaden turned 8 months old, got his first tooth, and is trying to crawl. Jos is almost 3 and is such a sweetheart. I look at them and feel so much love for her and that little guy that words could not begin to describe it. When I think about this whole process, the difficulties and sacrifices, I always think to the future when Paul and Andrea will be looking into their new baby’s eyes and falling in love. It is all worth it, a million times over.

Time for shots....post 16

Well, I have to apologize for not giving any kind of updates over the past several weeks. We were so excited when we started taking birth control pills that when they told us there would be a little delay before starting the medications we got kind of bummed. Waiting is kind of like being told what your Christmas present will be, but you have to wait 2 months before you can open it!

When Kari had her biopsy done in November we were told that it may take up to 2 weeks before the results would be in due to the Thanksgiving holidays…little did we know that it would take nearly 6 weeks! It turned out not to matter that it took that long anyway. Cindy, our nurse, called to tell me that the clinic closes for 2 weeks during the Christmas holidays and also for a week at the end of January, so instead of having a January 1st retrieval week we are now looking at a February 1st retrieval week. Oh well…at least we had an awesome Christmas vacation! We are thankful that we got to travel and spend time with the family (my brother and sister-in-law even came in from Germany)!

When the nurse informed me of the delay, I asked her if she knew what kind of medications we would be using so that I could do some research on prices with the different fertility pharmacies. Let me tell you, it is sooo worth it to call around for the best price. I called 6 different pharmacies and all of them had very different prices for the same medications. On one medication alone I saved just over $300 because one company had it so much cheaper. Cindy told me that some pharmacies merge with different brands so they are able to offer better prices. Also, another awesome blessing was being informed of a program through Fertility Lifelines. We applied for their program and got approved for $3000 worth of FREE medication! Wahoo! Thank You Lord for favor!

Finally, we were told that Kari’s biopsy came back with an excellent report. She has great uterine lining (haha), so no problems there. Also, we received the psychological report for Jon and Kari…that report…not so good…just kidding! They passed with flying colors and there are no hold ups there either. Dr. Burnett got a chance to figure out what Paul and I have known for a while-they are the most awesome people you will ever meet!

One of the last requirements that the clinic has before we begin the medication is the legal contract. This could seem like a daunting task to complete without a patient and very knowledgeable lawyer. A few calls and emails back and forth with our lawyer to discuss questions and concerns produced a contract that met the needs of both couples. Since all four of us are so easy going and have the same beliefs about this whole process there was nothing that we didn’t agree upon. The contract has been completed and that makes us one more step closer to the final result!

Now, to catch you up on our latest appointments:

Kari and I talked several times over the Christmas holidays and we were like giddy school girls counting down the days until her first appointment back. Finally, January 5, 2010 came! We showed up for the scheduled ultrasound to check out her ovaries, once again. Of course, they said everything was perfect and doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing. Later, we were escorted into the meeting room with Cindy, the nurse, to discuss our calendar. This is the real deal! We have been waiting for this “calendar” for a long time! It will list out what day to take how much of each medication. It can be a bit overwhelming to throw it all out there, so Cindy decided to give us a little bit at a time. Right now, Kari has to take one injection of Lupron every morning and continue with her birth control for a few more days. I am supposed to start taking my daily shots of Lupron the following week along with a few more days of my birth control. Last time we did our mock cycle there were so many appointments and things to be doing that the time flew by! We know these next few weeks with our real cycle will be an absolute blur, and we are excited about that!

I have to put out there that we have an amazing support group of friends and family that have helped us out by watching our children while we go to all of these appointments. We couldn’t have gone through this process as easily without them all. Thank you guys soo much! You are such a blessing!

While we were meeting with the nurse she asked us if we had ever done the trial transfer. “Trial transfer?” Oops. Someone forgot about scheduling that for us and apparently we can’t move on until we complete that. During the trial transfer the doctor places a catheter the size of a spaghetti strand in the uterus to measure the depth of the uterus. They need to know exactly how large the uterus is so they know where to drop the embryos off during the real transfer. So, of course, we scheduled the procedure for the following day. It’s these kinds of “oops” and “by the ways” that make this process so much like an emotional rollercoaster.

On Wednesday, January 6, 2010, we showed up for what we thought was just the trial transfer, but ended up being the hysteroscopy too. The doctor used a fiber-optic endoscope to look at her uterine lining on a video monitor. They were looking for polyps. Guess what? All the doctor could say was that everything looked absolutely perfect over and over!

Well, now that you have been caught up with all of the happenings I should be able to post more regularly. Kari took her first shot of Lupron on Wednesday and said she was so glad to find out that she had been making a whole lot out of nothing. I was so glad to hear that it wasn’t that bad since she has to have at least 3 weeks of those particular shots. All I can say is that girl must really love me to endure all the poking and prodding that she has been and will continue to go through (not to mention the 9 months of the pregnancy)! I’m telling you, you won’t find another girl like her in the world! I love you, Kari!

We started our REAL cycle - post 15

With all the studying that Kari did to prepare for her “test,” I think she may have passed…just kidding about the studying part. We got to Dr. Burnett’s office around 10am and all four of us talked and had a good time. I’m not sure if all visits with Dr. Burnett are as joyful as ours, but we can’t help it! We are having so much fun and can’t wait to see what the future holds. Later, Paul and I were dismissed so that Kari and Jon could have a minute to talk with her. After Jon had his brain picked he was then released so Kari could talk things over and take her 2 hour test. It probably sounds a lot worse than it actually is. Dr. Burnett is so nice and it just seems like natural conversation with her. While Kari finished up, Paul and I had our blood work and analysis done. We got a lot accomplished in one day.

On Friday the 13th of November, Kari had a biopsy of her uterine lining. While she was on these hormone patches and pills her uterus responded by thickening up and the doctors were able to measure that by ultrasound. The biopsy, however, will check to see if “her cake (lining) is properly baked” (as the doctor put it). She said it was a little uncomfortable, but it only took a few seconds. After the procedure, she was told that she could stop all of her hormones and that she should get another menstrual cycle shortly after. Cyndi, the nurse, told Kari to give her a call on her first day and on day three to start on her birth control pill. Do you know what that means? This is the official start of our real cycle! I started my first pill last night (Nov. 16) too, so now we just kind of wait for the stimulation start date! My doctor should call me soon with my treatment plan so that I can start researching pharmacies that have the best prices for the different medications (which is a pretty big portion of the fees). You know me…I have to find the best deal!

Like I said before, we plan to meet with Robert Terenzio, our reproductive lawyer, toward the end of the month. Other than that, it is just a waiting game. Thanks to all of you who have expressed interest and care for us during this process. It is so nice to know we have such a huge support group during all of this.

The ball is really rolling now... - post 14

“I’m so excited….and I just can’t hide it…..I’m about to lose control and I think I like it….” Are you bobbing your head with me??!! We really are so excited that we can not hide it!! Plans for a new Miller baby or babies are moving right along. It feels like we couldn’t possibly experience more favor than what we already have (unless, of course, someone wanted to pay for all of our expenses in full…just putting that out there…) :)

Anyway, timing is everything in this entire process. In our case, because Kari just had her son about 6 months ago, the doctors wanted to see her body show that it was ready to house another little one…aka a menstrual cycle. We did not have a clue when this would be happening; I’m sure you ladies have never waited with a longing anticipation for such a thing as this…hahaha. At one of my monitoring appointments in Winter Park, I talked with a nurse about a hypothetical game plan for when this day may come. I decided to take Kari with me to the next appointment, if for no other reason, to become established as a patient. They tested her and found out that she was at the perfect time to start her mock cycle (a trial run with hormone patches to see how her uterus responds to the medication)! On Monday, October 26th, she started the mock cycle and only a week and a half later her uterus responded exactly like it was supposed to. It thickened up and got nice and “cushy” so it was ready to house an embryo. Great news - she is a perfect carrier! She responded so well that she was able to move on to the second phase of the mock cycle 4 days sooner than planned.

We have about 2 appointments every week now, but it doesn’t get annoying because we know what the ultimate result could be. Plus, it makes the time go by so much faster. We have a mental checklist of everything that has to be done and we have been able to cross out so many things already. On Wednesday, November 11th (Thank you to all of our military men and women, those currently serving, have served, and those that have given up their lives for us to experience life as we do today.) all four of us get to have a chat with our psychologist. We are looking forward to it because we will be made aware of where issues may potentially arise so we can deal with it before it ever gets here. By the way, this time it is Kari’s turn to take the personality profile test consisting of over 500 questions. We decided to make good use of this trip to Winter Park, so we not only get to chat with Dr. Burnett, but Paul and I will also be taking care of our FDA blood work and his initial “analysis.” WOW! It is getting down to the wire…so many things to finish, but as you can tell, it is all just falling into place.

I am also in contact with our lawyer, who is drawing up our contract now. We will probably meet with him at the end of the month to solidify things before we get started in December. Yes, you read right! If all keeps going as planned, we are looking at a potential start date of December 14th! Depending on the treatment plan that the doctors decide on, we could potentially be pregnant by the second or third week of January!!! I will definitely keep you updated on the process and if there are any changes, which in the world of IVF is not unheard of.

For a little side note, I just have to say that I could not have asked for a better couple to experience this entire process with. We are all so much alike in how we feel and what we believe that it has made this process a piece of cake. I love you, Jon and Kari! Thank you for wanting to go on this journey with us and making it an absolute pleasure!

DID YOU NOTICE WE REACHED OUR GOAL FOR THE LAWYER????!!!!!

Another piece of the puzzle complete! - post 13

Well, all of the shots are done and over with…for now! Everything went absolutely perfect for the entire donation process. Most days I only had to get one shot, but there were two days that I had to get two. It was no big deal, especially since I wasn’t the one administering them. My husband gave most of them to me, but towards the end there were a couple of times that he wasn’t around, so my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law stepped in and saved the day. Thank goodness! My last monitoring appointment had to be done by the clinic down south. I got a call on Friday, the 23rd of October saying, “We need to have you here (Ft. Lauderdale) on Monday, the 26th. Depending on what we see you might have to stay through the week or you could go home the next day…” It wasn’t like that was a horrible request, but the unknown of it was crazy. So, as I frantically tried to make arrangements to go out of town I got another call a few hours later that said, “Change of plans. Do your monitoring at Dr. Trolice’s on Monday and you may come to us on Tuesday.” That’s exactly what we did! Like she said though, we went home the next day because the retrieval was postponed until Saturday, October 31st. There is something everyone must know about the entire field of IVF, and that is you have to be flexible!

I got a little nervous on the retrieval day when I had to put the hat and booties on and saw the anesthesiologist. I started to think, what if this procedure is worse than I had planned on it being? The procedure took about 30 minutes and within another 30 minutes I was awake and talking. There was no need for any major pain medication. I just took a few ibuprofens for some slight cramping that day and that was it! We are so excited for the opportunity we have provided for the recipient couple!

It has started!! - post 12

So, last night was the night! We carefully cleaned our working surface and Paul prepared all of the medication. It took almost 30 minutes before we even got it all ready! We were trying to make sure that we didn’t miss anything, and also we were trying to figure out what some of the things in our “goody bags” were! I was nervous, but Paul acted like he was excited. I think he likes the idea of sticking me with a needle a little too much...hahaha He mixed each vial and pulled it all up into one syringe so I only have to have one stick per day instead of three a day. I was alright at first, but when it came down to actually administering the shot I think Paul got a little nervous. So, in turn, I had a little bit of a “freak-out” moment. I got the shot in my stomach and just like everyone says, it really wasn’t that bad. We will be doing one shot every night for the next 7-11 days.

I have an appointment this Friday the 23rd at Dr. Trolices’ office in Winter Park. I will be doing my monitoring there, since it is closer to where we live. I will have to have blood drawn and another ultrasound to make sure my ovaries are responding to the medication the way they should. I will hopefully be able to talk with a nurse to make sure that Kari and I are on track to having our cycle in December too! I’m so excited (especially now that I know what to expect with the injections)!

Oh, the anticipation... - post 11

I know it has been a while since I have updated things, but I have learned that every detail of this process takes time. In our case, we didn’t even know everything that we were supposed to do until this week! It was kind of exciting when the nurse from the clinic actually scheduled our appointment to show us how to give our injections. However, that appointment got changed four different times…So, this past Monday (October 12, 2009), we finally made our second trip to Plantation, Florida.

I had to have another ultrasound to check on my ovaries. It was a little uncomfortable because the doctor said when the ovaries aren’t anchored to the uterus they tend to just be floating around. It took him a while to find them, but when he did he reassured us that everything was good to go! The nurse had to draw more blood to recheck for STDs and she sent us to a room to watch two videos on how to give the injections. Paul will be giving me the injections (I’m not really comfortable watching needles go through my skin), so he thought it was really comical when the video compared the injection technique to “playing darts.” He says he is pretty good at darts, so we should be pretty good (eeek)! After we watched the videos, we were escorted into another room where there was a table piled full of medication, syringes, and needles. It was a little overwhelming, but funny at the same time. I am so thankful that Paul is here to go through this with me. The nurse went over the calendar with us and the details of what I will be taking everyday. Originally, we were supposed to start on Friday (October 16, 2009), but I received a call from the nurse who asked us to push everything back two days. So, our official start date is Sunday, October 18, 2009! I only have to take the injections for 8-12 days and then we will be doing the retrieval. The latest the retrieval would be is the 30th of October!

WOW! I can’t believe this time is already here. I mean, I CAN, but I can’t….this means that we are that much closer to our own cycle! A great thing about this is the fact that my doctor from Winter Park, Dr. Trolice, will have an exact blueprint of how my body responds to the medication from this donation. That will give us one more thing to add to our already “perfect” scenario. Maybe Paul and I will get the best Christmas present ever if we find out we are pregnant by December!!!

Two-Way Blessings - post 10

So, I finally have some time to tell you about what has taken place over the last two weeks. I tried to sit down and write about it several times, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to preface what we have been experiencing. I know the entire process that we are involved in has many people thinking lots of different things. Some people love what we are doing and others have their reservations. The best thing I know to tell people that don’t necessarily agree with what we are doing is that all of this has happened with such ease that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God has His hand on all of this. Pastor Allen’s messages could not be more timely for us…We are not trying to figure out the “How” of our dreams before the “What,” so in turn it is coming together simply by God’s grace!

Several months ago I was doing some research on reproductive lawyers and came across an attorney who also has her own egg donor agency. We started talking about the details of what it would be like for me to become a donor myself. Paul and I (along with tons of close friends and family) discussed all sides of this option that had now been dropped at our door. I have to admit, at first, the thought of donating my eggs to an anonymous couple was a bit strange. And, yes, all of the questions and concerns that you are probably thinking of came to my mind as well. However, after a lot of thought, Paul and I both had a peace come over us. We came to the conclusion that we want to be a blessing to another family much like Kari and Jon have been for us. We know how badly it hurts to long for another child, and we could be the answer to another family who has probably spent countless hours crying because they too could not have a child.

With all that being said, we have been matched with a recipient couple! I received a call about 6 weeks ago that there was a couple interested in my “profile.” About 2 weeks later (August 12, 2009), Paul and I made our first trip to the fertility clinic in Plantation, Florida. I had a consultation with the doctor, an ultrasound to check out my ovaries, and some blood drawn. They haven’t gotten back all of my test results, but they went ahead and started me on birth control to coordinate my cycle with the recipient families’ surrogate. This is very similar to the cycle that Kari and I will be doing. Kari will have to take birth control with me so we cycle at the same time. Her body will be tricked into thinking it is about to get pregnant, so her uterine lining will be ready to accept our embryo. It truly is an amazing process from start to finish! I should find out if I am a definite candidate in about a week or two. By that time I will have learned how to give myself the daily hormone injections. I am not really excited about this part because needles aren’t my favorite thing in the world, but you “gotta do what you gotta do!”

So, like I said before, exciting things are happening! Kari and I plan to start preparing for our cycle in December or January. We can do our psychological screenings beforehand (to make sure we are all aware of what this process entails), but everything else that follows depends on when Kari’s body is ready to carry another baby (or two)!

I will keep you posted on the donor cycle as I find out more!