THE MILLER AND WANBERG IVF ADVENTURES: 11/15/09

How it all began....

Paul and I were married in July of 2005 and every day since then has been a complete joy! We moved to Central Florida and found an amazing church home at Family Bible Church (http://www.fambible.org/). There we met so many life-long friends. In August of 2007, we had our precious baby girl. Her name is McKenzie Renae. She was so beautiful when I saw her for the first time! After the delivery, we had a couple hours to talk and laugh with friends and family before something went terribly wrong. The next thing I knew I was being sent into emergency surgery. The doctor tried everything, but my uterus continued to bleed. So, after I was given 3 units of blood, her only option was to remove my uterus in order to save my life. Although I would have liked for things to turn out differently, I am so thankful that I am able to be with my family and friends. Of course, everyday wasn't all roses as I coped with the idea of not being able to have any more children. Paul and I had always thought we would have four children. After our McKenzie turned one I started to research other options for growing our family. It was solely a God-thing that caused all the pieces to fall into place.

One morning Kari called me up to ask if McKenzie and I wanted to go play at the park with her and Joselyn. It was there that Kari first expressed to me that she and Jon were interested in becoming a surrogate for Paul and me. I was blown away!! I let a few months go by and started to convince myself that it was a nice gesture, but she probably wasn't serious. Little did I know that she would be the "kick in the hind-quarters" that I needed to turn this dream of having more children into a reality! After those couple of emotionally low months, I was given the inspiration I needed to dive into the web of IVF. She assured me that this was something that God had placed into their hearts and they were the people for the job! Kari and Jon continue to amaze us with their eagerness to be a part of this adventure. As a matter of fact, one of the things Kari told me to get me out of my slump was, "We can do this together. This can be our little adventure!". So that is exactly what it has become! I can't wait to see what the future holds; and I hope it holds a new little baby...possibly two...Kari says three would be pushing it! hahaha

How I became "Kari the Carrier"

I remember exactly where I was standing when I was told that Andrea had a few complications post delivery and that her uterus had to be removed in order to save her life. The shock wave hit me like a ton of bricks. I was standing outside the church after a Wednesday night service when Jill broke the news to me. I immediately welled up and started crying, feeling broken-hearted for them. I couldn’t imagine the possibility of not having another child again. Over the next several months, every time I sat next to Andrea in church, a strong compassion would rise up inside of me. I felt like I wanted to help her in any way that I could, and that is when the surrogacy seed was planted in my heart. I never said a word about the idea to either her or my husband Jon, but the seed continued to grow week after week. I believe with all my heart that the supernatural compassion I felt in those moments was from God, preparing my heart for something special.

I decided to ask my husband about what he thought about me becoming a surrogate for Paul and Andrea; his response was an immediate “yes!!!” He was completely supportive and even encouraged me to speak to Andrea about it right away.

A few months later, I was at home with my daughter, Joselyn, and was thinking about going to the park. I called Andrea up and asked if she wanted to bring her daughter, McKenzie, to play with Jos. As the girls were playing, I asked Andrea how things were going and about their plans for future children. She began to tell me about a possible carrier she had in mind and a second person as another possibility sometime in the future, but nothing was definite. The next thing I know, I had said to Andrea, “Keep me in the back of your mind for a possible candidate to be your surrogate too.” I had not planned to turn that play date into a lifelong friendship, but that is what it has turned out to be. The moment I realized that my offer was a real possibility, my first feeling was kind of a “reality check.” However, soon after, and I believe it was by the grace and peace of God, I began to become more and more excited about the idea. I knew that I would never have offered if I wasn’t ready to follow through, so the decision was solidified in my heart. I left for the month of December to visit my family in Montana for Christmas, and during that time I was telling everyone my plans. I was already 6 months pregnant with my son, so I got some pretty funny looks as I talked about being pregnant again so soon. By the time I came back home, I had talked about being a surrogate carrier so much, it was already a done deal for Jon and me. The next time I saw Andrea, I asked when we were going to get this thing going; tears fell and the rest is history in the making.

I believe with my whole heart that this is a God-inspired bond between our families. I have an overwhelming sense of peace and knowing that this whole process will go quickly and smoothly, and I am looking forward to telling you all about our journey together. I am also more and more confident every day that God is a good God and he WILL provide for us. The hard parts are all done, now it is just a matter of walking through the steps and trusting Him…can’t wait to meet the new Miller(s)!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

We started our REAL cycle - post 15

With all the studying that Kari did to prepare for her “test,” I think she may have passed…just kidding about the studying part. We got to Dr. Burnett’s office around 10am and all four of us talked and had a good time. I’m not sure if all visits with Dr. Burnett are as joyful as ours, but we can’t help it! We are having so much fun and can’t wait to see what the future holds. Later, Paul and I were dismissed so that Kari and Jon could have a minute to talk with her. After Jon had his brain picked he was then released so Kari could talk things over and take her 2 hour test. It probably sounds a lot worse than it actually is. Dr. Burnett is so nice and it just seems like natural conversation with her. While Kari finished up, Paul and I had our blood work and analysis done. We got a lot accomplished in one day.

On Friday the 13th of November, Kari had a biopsy of her uterine lining. While she was on these hormone patches and pills her uterus responded by thickening up and the doctors were able to measure that by ultrasound. The biopsy, however, will check to see if “her cake (lining) is properly baked” (as the doctor put it). She said it was a little uncomfortable, but it only took a few seconds. After the procedure, she was told that she could stop all of her hormones and that she should get another menstrual cycle shortly after. Cyndi, the nurse, told Kari to give her a call on her first day and on day three to start on her birth control pill. Do you know what that means? This is the official start of our real cycle! I started my first pill last night (Nov. 16) too, so now we just kind of wait for the stimulation start date! My doctor should call me soon with my treatment plan so that I can start researching pharmacies that have the best prices for the different medications (which is a pretty big portion of the fees). You know me…I have to find the best deal!

Like I said before, we plan to meet with Robert Terenzio, our reproductive lawyer, toward the end of the month. Other than that, it is just a waiting game. Thanks to all of you who have expressed interest and care for us during this process. It is so nice to know we have such a huge support group during all of this.