THE MILLER AND WANBERG IVF ADVENTURES: Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya Tomorrow!

How it all began....

Paul and I were married in July of 2005 and every day since then has been a complete joy! We moved to Central Florida and found an amazing church home at Family Bible Church (http://www.fambible.org/). There we met so many life-long friends. In August of 2007, we had our precious baby girl. Her name is McKenzie Renae. She was so beautiful when I saw her for the first time! After the delivery, we had a couple hours to talk and laugh with friends and family before something went terribly wrong. The next thing I knew I was being sent into emergency surgery. The doctor tried everything, but my uterus continued to bleed. So, after I was given 3 units of blood, her only option was to remove my uterus in order to save my life. Although I would have liked for things to turn out differently, I am so thankful that I am able to be with my family and friends. Of course, everyday wasn't all roses as I coped with the idea of not being able to have any more children. Paul and I had always thought we would have four children. After our McKenzie turned one I started to research other options for growing our family. It was solely a God-thing that caused all the pieces to fall into place.

One morning Kari called me up to ask if McKenzie and I wanted to go play at the park with her and Joselyn. It was there that Kari first expressed to me that she and Jon were interested in becoming a surrogate for Paul and me. I was blown away!! I let a few months go by and started to convince myself that it was a nice gesture, but she probably wasn't serious. Little did I know that she would be the "kick in the hind-quarters" that I needed to turn this dream of having more children into a reality! After those couple of emotionally low months, I was given the inspiration I needed to dive into the web of IVF. She assured me that this was something that God had placed into their hearts and they were the people for the job! Kari and Jon continue to amaze us with their eagerness to be a part of this adventure. As a matter of fact, one of the things Kari told me to get me out of my slump was, "We can do this together. This can be our little adventure!". So that is exactly what it has become! I can't wait to see what the future holds; and I hope it holds a new little baby...possibly two...Kari says three would be pushing it! hahaha

How I became "Kari the Carrier"

I remember exactly where I was standing when I was told that Andrea had a few complications post delivery and that her uterus had to be removed in order to save her life. The shock wave hit me like a ton of bricks. I was standing outside the church after a Wednesday night service when Jill broke the news to me. I immediately welled up and started crying, feeling broken-hearted for them. I couldn’t imagine the possibility of not having another child again. Over the next several months, every time I sat next to Andrea in church, a strong compassion would rise up inside of me. I felt like I wanted to help her in any way that I could, and that is when the surrogacy seed was planted in my heart. I never said a word about the idea to either her or my husband Jon, but the seed continued to grow week after week. I believe with all my heart that the supernatural compassion I felt in those moments was from God, preparing my heart for something special.

I decided to ask my husband about what he thought about me becoming a surrogate for Paul and Andrea; his response was an immediate “yes!!!” He was completely supportive and even encouraged me to speak to Andrea about it right away.

A few months later, I was at home with my daughter, Joselyn, and was thinking about going to the park. I called Andrea up and asked if she wanted to bring her daughter, McKenzie, to play with Jos. As the girls were playing, I asked Andrea how things were going and about their plans for future children. She began to tell me about a possible carrier she had in mind and a second person as another possibility sometime in the future, but nothing was definite. The next thing I know, I had said to Andrea, “Keep me in the back of your mind for a possible candidate to be your surrogate too.” I had not planned to turn that play date into a lifelong friendship, but that is what it has turned out to be. The moment I realized that my offer was a real possibility, my first feeling was kind of a “reality check.” However, soon after, and I believe it was by the grace and peace of God, I began to become more and more excited about the idea. I knew that I would never have offered if I wasn’t ready to follow through, so the decision was solidified in my heart. I left for the month of December to visit my family in Montana for Christmas, and during that time I was telling everyone my plans. I was already 6 months pregnant with my son, so I got some pretty funny looks as I talked about being pregnant again so soon. By the time I came back home, I had talked about being a surrogate carrier so much, it was already a done deal for Jon and me. The next time I saw Andrea, I asked when we were going to get this thing going; tears fell and the rest is history in the making.

I believe with my whole heart that this is a God-inspired bond between our families. I have an overwhelming sense of peace and knowing that this whole process will go quickly and smoothly, and I am looking forward to telling you all about our journey together. I am also more and more confident every day that God is a good God and he WILL provide for us. The hard parts are all done, now it is just a matter of walking through the steps and trusting Him…can’t wait to meet the new Miller(s)!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya Tomorrow! - post 23

Good news! The retrieval will be FRIDAY! It feels good to type that and know it is truly going to happen. Everything went so well today (2/3/10) at my appointment. My ultrasound proved to the doctor that he made a good decision to wait the extra day. The grouping of the small follicles grew like he wanted, so he is fully expecting at least 16 good sized eggs to be retrieved. Quantity is good, however quality is better. It only takes one good egg to fertilize and make a good embryo to implant.

Tonight I will take my trigger shot of HCG at precisely 8:30pm. My blood work came back showing my estrogen level at 3100. The doctor was a little shocked because beforehand my estrogen level only rose about 600 points per day and today it went from 1900 to 3100. I was supposed to be measuring around 3000 by now originally, but they didn’t think that I was going to get there. They were planning to give me a higher dose of the trigger shot, but now they won’t have to! Cool! Although today is my last day for injections, I guess they wanted to end them out with a bang. I thought that I wasn’t going to have any intramuscular shots, but I was wrong. Tonight I will get to have a tiny taste of what Kari will have to go through for about 3 weeks (except her shots will be in an oil suspension – much worse than what I will have to endure). Paul will definitely have to give me this shot because it will be given in the back of my hip. Cindy drew a smiley face with a marker on one of my cheeks so that Paul would have the perfect target to throw the “dart.” 36 hours after I get my shot I will be in the clinic about to have my eggs retrieved. It’s crazy how this stuff works.

Since we have been postponed a few days for the retrieval, we are expected to have a transfer on Wednesday, February 10th.
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So, I am writing this part of the post on Thursday night. I am pleased to tell you that the IM shot was actually not as bad as I was expecting. I did ice the area for about 2 minutes before Paul gave me the injection. I didn’t even feel the needle go in. I even had to ask if he had done it yet. It was about that same time that I was able to feel the medication stinging a little bit. It didn’t last that long because I only had ½ cc, but I am sure when Kari does her shot tonight with 1 ½ cc of the oil suspension she might have a little more pain than me. It did, however, cause a slight stinging sensation to run down my leg and I could feel a sort of “heaviness” for a few minutes where the needle was inserted. Other than that, it was all good.

Kari and I were talking on the phone today and (after we got past the talk about the shot she is getting tonight) we got into our high-pitch, girlie, giddy voices. We simply can’t believe this time is actually here! All the waiting (which the hardest period will come while we wait the two weeks for the pregnancy test) is almost over. Tomorrow morning is it! We will arrive at the clinic at 7:30am for an 8:00am procedure. Paul will not be able to go to the operating room with me, but he will be in another room where he can watch a digital counter display the number of each egg as it is retrieved. The procedure itself only lasts about 20-30 minutes, but I think it takes about an hour to wake up from the sedation. We were told that the embryologist, David, will be in contact with us everyday up until the transfer to let us know how the eggs and embryos are doing. I like the fact that I will be getting a call everyday. It kind of puts my mind at ease to know I will be informed every step of the way as our little babies grow. If you get to read this before Friday morning, keep us in your prayers for an absolutely perfect retrieval and the BEST quality eggs anyone has ever seen! Haha! We are so blessed by our little girl and we know that we are about to be totally blown away by what is in store for The Miller Family! BTW-pray for Kari and her shots too.